Yunyu: The Christmas Chain Saw Massacre

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Hi all! Christmas is coming up, and I just finished inking chapter 1 of Small Shen. There’s still chapter 2 to go, so hopefully I’ll be able to finish that by the end of this month. No Christmas holidays for me, but that’s the way it’s always been when I’m working on a book. So I’m used to it.

This week I’m showing something I did for my musician friend Yunyu. She’s been re-writing Christmas songs to suit her darkly subversive world views, and along with Zombie Christmas, this year it’s Were-Santa. The song takes the hot-button issues of this year, specifically werewolves and misbehaving Wall Street CEOs, and mixes the two together to create… something you can troll people with at the upcoming Christmas parties. Hey, I consider this song a happy song. And ofcourse, I created some appropriate album art for it.

To get your FREE copy of the song Were-Santa, join Yunyu’s Mailing List and it will be sent to you!

You can also listen to the song and download it at SoundCloud.

 

Crapmas by Yunyu
 

Lyrics

It’s the crap-crappiest time of the year
My head’s jingle belling,
And hippies are telling me
“Be of good cheer”
It’s my most sorrowful time of the year

It’s the crap-crappiest season of all
When I become Santa,
and no I’m not mental
I just want a cure
from this crap-crappiest sickness of all

I was making a killing
In stock market trading
Cashing in on all the loopholes
I’m worse than Charles Ponzi
I took more than Madoff
But hey you’re not perfect yourself

It’s my most sorrowful time of the year
A were-santa he got me
he bit me that bastard
and now once a year
I’m transformed into this ponce with the bells

I’ll pay anything for a cure
for this sickness
and swap this for lycanthropy
And anything’s better than riding with sleigh bells
and giving my fortunes away.

It’s my most sorrowful time of the year
my pockets are echoing
my world is ending and
Don’t you dare cheer
It’s the most sorrowful time
It’s the most sorrowful time

It’s the most sorrowful time of the year

White Angry Bird – Free Crochet Pattern

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A whole bunch of stuff is happening this December, and I find myself quite busy this festive season. I’m working on the inks for Chapters 1-2 for Small Shen, so that’s the bulk of my main work. I’m also working on a music-art collaboration project with a musician friend, the first release of which is due Jan 31st 2012, so that has been penned in on my timetable. On top of that, I have a bunch of crochet stuff to do, and the kind of odds and ends that crop up at the end of the year. Will I accomplish anything by December 31st?!

I finally deleted my old Livejournal account. Managing it is a bit too much, since it’s no longer active.

This week, I get to post up my free crochet pattern of the White Angry Bird. For those who are living underneath a rock, Angry Birds is a highly popular casual game that involves throwing a bunch of cute-but-furious cartoon birds at a bunch of greedy pigs, who have stolen the birds’ eggs. The “mascot” of the series is the Angry Red Bird, and this week he’s joined by his friend, the Angry White Bird.

 

Get the free Angry Red Bird crochet pattern here.

 
Important: People have asked me for more Angry Bird patterns, but I’m afraid I can’t promise anything, since these characters are copyrighted. I provide these patterns for free because it’s all in good fun, but the original copyright owners must be respected – and I don’t have any other Angry Bird patterns either. If you’re looking for the green bird, the black bomb bird, or the green pig, you can register on the site Ravelry.com and find them there. No word on the yellow or blue Angry Bird.

That said, if you like this pattern, please support Angry Birds and buy the game, or the game-related merchandise.

 

Angry White Bird
Here’s the Angry White Bird with the Angry Red Bird. Friends!

 

Angry White Bird Pattern

Here’s a list of what I used to make this crochet. It’s not a definite list, so feel free to use whatever you have, as long as it’s appropriate. It’s crocheted in the round, like most amigurumi, so only basic crochet skills are required.

NB. This pattern is created by me, so please give a link back to me if you want to use it or if you want to sell your crochet. Please give credit where it’s due.

  • White, dark yellow, light yellow, and black 8 ply yarn
  • 4mm crochet hook
  • 8mm black safety eyes – 6060 from Etsy is a good place to buy these
  • Large sewing needle, to sew the bits and pieces together

 

Crochet Abbreviations

Here are a list of the abbreviations I use, and what they mean. These are pretty standard, so if you know how to crochet, this won’t be hard to decipher:

  • ch – chain
  • sc – single chain
  • dec – decrease
  • * – beginning/end of a repeating part of the pattern

 

White Bird 1
The round, egg like appearance of the White Bird

 

Body (Make 1, white)

Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 6 single chain (sc) in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2 – 2 sc in each chain (12 stitches)
Rnd 3 – *2 sc in next single chain, 1 sc*, repeat 6 times (18 stitches)
Rnd 4-5 – sc
Rnd 6 – *2 sc in next single chain, 2 sc*, repeat 6 times (24 stitches)
Rnd 7-9 – sc
Rnd 10 – *2 sc in next single chain, 3 sc*, repeat 6 times (30 stitches)
Rnd 11-16 – sc
Rnd 17 – *decrease (dec) 1, 3 sc*, repeat 6 times (24 stitches)
Rnd 18 – sc

Start stuffing the body, and sew the eyes onto the face.
Rnd 19 – *dec 1 through back loops ONLY*, repeat 6 times (12 stitches)
Rnd 20 – *dec 1* repeat 6 times (6 stitches)

Fasten off, then use a needle to weave in loose ends.

 

White Bird 2
The eyes and the eyebrows… so different yet similar to the Red Bird’s.

 

Eyes and Eyebrows (Make 2 of each, black and white)

Make the two eyes with white yarn
Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 6 sc in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2 – 3 sc

Fasten off, then use an 8mm safety eye to pin it on the body, making sure the longer part is on the outside of the eyes.
Then use a sewing needle to sew the white eyes properly onto the body.

 

Make the two eyebrows with black yarn
Rnd 1 – Ch 6, turn
Rnd 2 – 4 sc

Fasten off, sew onto the body on top of the eyes.

 

White Bird 3
It has a significantly bigger beak than the Red Angry Bird.

 

Top Beak (Make 1, dark yellow)

Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 4 sc in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2 – *2 sc in next single chain*, repeat 4 times (8 stitches)
Rnd 3 – sc
Rnd 4 – *2 sc in next single chain, 3 sc*, repeat twice (10 stitches)
Rnd 5-7 – sc
Rnd 8 – *dec 1 through back loops ONLY*, repeat 5 times (5 stitches)

Fasten off, stuff and sew onto the body between the eyes, leaving space for the bottom half of the beak

 

Bottom Beak (Make 1, dark yellow)
Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 4 sc in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2 – *2 sc in next single chain*, repeat 4 times (8 stitches)
Rnd 3 – *2 sc in next single chain, 3 sc*, repeat twice (10 stitches)
Rnd 4 – *dec 1 through back loops ONLY*, repeat 5 times (5 stitches)

Fasten off, stuff and sew onto the body under the top beak.
Don’t sew the bottom and top beaks together since it’ll turn into a big yellow blob, so just sew the corners of the beaks together to get that slack-jawed look.

 

Whtie Bird 4
Where you add the rest of it on

 

Yellow Cheeks (Make 2, light yellow)
Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 6 single chain (sc) in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2 – 2 sc in each chain (12 stitches)

Fasten off, stuff and sew onto the cheeks, under the eyes

 

Black Hair (Make 3, black)

Rnd 1 – Ch 4, turn
Rnd 2 – 3 sc, turn
Rnd 3 – 3 sc

Fasten off, then sew into a small tube. Sew onto the top of the head.

Recommendation: The Hollywood Economist

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I’ve finished the pencils of chapters 1 & 2 of Small Shen, and is waiting for feedback. I’m also attempting to make the white bird for Angry Birds, though I probably won’t do any more Angry Bird patterns after this next one. So far, it’s looking okay… we shall see next week.

On the other hand, this week I recommend an non-fiction book. On a subject not a great deal of people think about.

 

The Hollywood Economist - coverThe Hollywood Economist: The Hidden Financial Reality Behind the Movies
(2010, Edward Jay Epstein)

I read a fair amount of non-fiction books, mostly about topics that interest me at any given moment (just about everything, all the time). I picked up this book after reading some of the columns written by journalist Edward Jay Epstein for Slate and the Financial Times, about how Hollywood runs itself as a business. I’ve been a fan of cinema for a while, but it always surprises me how very few people know how movies are made from a financial perspective. Sure, we all know about movie stars and directors and producers and screenwriters and gossip, but how many people actually know how contracts and deals are put together in Hollywood? Considering it takes at least $100 million to make a blockbuster movie these days, don’t anyone wonder where all that money comes from? And where it goes?

 


 

Why I Recommend this Book
The Hollywood Economist came along at a particular time for me, when I was looking for something to read about the business of movies in Hollywood. I wanted a book that was (a) easy to read, (b) about movies as a business, not movies as a cultural product, and (c) not about gossip or scandal, but about money, distribution and contracts. The Hollywood Economist filled all three of these niches beautifully. If you’re looking for something that will tell about the wheelin’ and dealin’ that goes on behind the scenes in Hollywood that is written in plain, simple English, this is the book to read.

 

  • Easy to Read – Most of the columns in this book comes from Epstein’s blogs and articles, so they are written in an accessible language, and are reasonably short while also being packed with information. This was a good thing from my perspective, but some people may also argue that this book suffers from lax editing, since they are all articles written separately, then thrown together for this one purpose. I don’t have an issue with it, but this also means that nearly all the articles can be found for free online, either at Epstein’s blog or on Slate. So you don’t need to buy this book to read all the content, unless you believe that journalists should be paid for their hard work. I certainly do, so I bought this book (There’s also an e-book available).
  • About Movies as a Business, Not as a Cultural Product – I believe that books about economics should be dry and readable, not emotional and opinionated. There are lots of books that claim to “rip the lid” off Hollywood, but as much as I love movies, I don’t want to read yet another article about how movies were so much better in the ’70s / before Jaws and Star Wars / before movie studios got bought up by multi-national corporations. The Hollywood Economist manages that feat nicely, by not mentioning the content of movies at all. In fact, it seems that Epstein could care less about whether Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (starring Angelina Jolie) is a good movie or not – he’s just interested in where the money came from (a combination of German tax shelters, international pre-sales, and British tax-relief), and where the money ultimately went (into a deep dark vault, where no one who was meant to get a cut of the money will ever get it). The press reported in 2001 that Tomb Raider cost $94 million to make, when Paramount only put $8.7 million of its own money in. The movie eventually made over $100 million from theatres, DVD sales, television and other rights, but on the profit-and-loss statement, it still claims to have lost money. Financial wizardry much?
  • Not about Gossip or Scandal – Whenever anyone mentions Hollywood, the first thing people think about is scandal. Who is married to who, while sleeping with whom; who went on a screaming tirade at who, etc. This book is interesting in that while it manages to mention famous names without sound like a gossip column, it also shows a side of famous Hollywood stars you never get to read about in the tabloids. Arnold Schwarzenegger got a deal that benefited him to the max for Terminator 3, whether the movie was made or not. Tom Cruise may have alienated audiences on Oprah, but the man hammered out such a deal for Mission Impossible that he made more money than the movie studio. Michael Moore got paid $21 million for Fahrenheit 9/11. And so on.

 

This book also mentions things about the movie business I didn’t know existed. Apart from the magical accounting, there’s also the importance of insurance, the fact that movies nearly always lose money at the box office (even though that’s what entertainment journalism focuses on), and how you can make money by mining bits of silver from dead movie prints. All very eye-opening, but at the same time, a tad depressing if you’re a newbie looking to break into Hollywood. Truth is, the business painted in this book is not a pretty one, and it’s also a business in transition. With the dawn of the digital age, movies are increasingly being undermined by piracy, internet competition, shrinking distribution channels and the global financial crisis. Can the movie industry survive to make money another day?

The book never answers this question, which is probably the biggest problem with it. I mentioned earlier that I didn’t mind the book being a collection of blog articles, but this has also left it without a properly tied ending. That perhaps can’t be helped since the story is still developing, but that’s also exactly why other people would recommend a previous incarnation of the book, called The Big Picture, over The Hollywood Economist. However, I personally opted for The Hollywood Economist because I needed more up-to-date information, especially when it’s about an industry that is rapidly changing.

Epstein still updates his blog with new articles, and perhaps we’ll see yet another more updated book on the same subject in the near future. For now, The Hollywood Economist is a worthy read.

Angry Birds – Free Crochet Pattern

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Well, Small Shen is chugging along and nearing the end of Chapter 2 (after that, inking this third of the book). Meanwhile, I got quite involved with my crocheting, making a fair number of amigurumi (small crocheted plush toys). I’ve been making attempts to come up with my own patterns, and now that I’ve finally succeeded, I’m proudly showing them off on this blog!

This free pattern is of the angry red bird from Angry Birds, a very popular casual game I played for a little while back. The objective of the game is to catapult a bunch of cute-but-furious birds at a bunch of green pig enemies, who have stolen the eggs of the birds. It’s a better-than-most catapult game, and the super-cute and eye-catching designs just made it very endearing. As you can see, the birds are a very big part of the game’s appeal:

 

Angry Birds - Original Picture

What the original Angry Red Bird looks like.

 

And here is what my Angry Red Bird crochet looks like. I put it on my hand, so you can see the relative size of the finished amigurumi. I prefer to make smaller amigurumi, so this one’s on the smaller size, but I find the projects easier and faster to finish, which has its good points.

 

Get the free Angry White Bird Pattern here
 

Angry Bird - Finished

My version of the Angry Red Bird character.

 

Angry Red Bird Pattern

Here’s a list of what I used to make this crochet. It’s not a definite list, so feel free to use whatever you have, as long as it’s appropriate. It’s crocheted in the round, like most amigurumi, so only basic crochet skills are required.

NB. This pattern is created by me, so please give a link back to me if you want to use it or if you want to sell your crochet. Please give credit where it’s due.

  • Red, white, black and yellow 8 ply yarn
  • 4mm crochet hook
  • 8mm black safety eyes – 6060 from Etsy is a good place to buy these
  • Large sewing needle, to sew the bits and pieces together

 

Crochet Abbreviations

Here are a list of the abbreviations I use, and what they mean. These are pretty standard, so if you know how to crochet, this won’t be hard to decipher:

  • ch – chain
  • sc – single chain
  • dec – decrease
  • * – beginning/end of a repeating part of the pattern

 

Angry Bird 1

Crocheting the bird's body in red yarn.

 
Body (Make 1, red and white)

With red yarn
Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 6 single chain (sc) in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2 – 2 sc in each chain (12 stitches)
Rnd 3 – *2 sc in next single chain, 1 sc*, repeat 6 times (18 stitches)
Rnd 4 – *2 sc in next single chain, 2 sc*, repeat 6 times (24 stitches)
Rnd 5 – *2 sc in next single chain, 3 sc*, repeat 6 times (30 stitches)
Rnd 6-11 – sc

Change to white yarn
Rnd 12 – sc
Rnd 13 – *decrease (dec) 1, 3 sc*, repeat 6 times (24 stitches)
Rnd 14 – sc

Start stuffing the body, and sew the eyes onto the body at this point
Rnd 15 – *dec 1 through back loops ONLY*, repeat 6 times (12 stitches)
Rnd 16 – *dec 1* repeat 6 times (6 stitches)

Fasten off, then use a needle to weave in loose ends.

 

Angry Bird 2

What the bottom of the bird should look like.

 

Eyes and Eyebrows (Make 2 of each, black and white)

Make the two eyes with white yarn
Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 6 sc in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)

Fasten off, then use an 8mm safety eye to pin the two white eyes on the body
Then use a sewing needle to sew the white eyes properly onto the red body.

 

Angry Bird 3

Sewing the eyes onto the body, after you pin the safety eyes onto the body.

 

Make the two eyebrows with black yarn
Rnd 1 – Ch 6, turn
Rnd 2 – 4 sc

Fasten off, sew onto the body on top of the eyes

 

Beak (Make 1, yellow)

Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 4 sc in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2 – sc
Rnd 3 – *2 sc in next single chain, 1 sc*, repeat twice (6 stitches)
Rnd 4 – *2 sc in next single chain, 2 sc*, repeat twice (8 stitches)
Rnd 5 – *2 sc in next single chain, 3 sc*, repeat twice (10 stitches)

Fasten off, stuff and sew onto the body between the eyes

 

Angry Bird 4

Sewed the beak and eyebrows onto the body.

 

Red Hair on Head (Make 1 big, 1 small, red yarn)

Making the Bigger Hair
Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 4 sc in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2 – *2 sc in next single chain, 1 sc*, repeat 2 twice (6 stitches)
Rnd 3-5 – sc, then fasten off

Making the Smaller Hair
Rnd 1 – Ch 2, 4 sc in 2nd chain away from hook (Magic Ring method)
Rnd 2-3 – sc

Fasten off, then sew both hairs onto the top of the body.

 

And viola! All done!